Chapter 8 – My Sassy Girl

Thursday, February 12, 2015 @ 11:37 am

(source)

Sometimes on TV, a martial artist comes out and demonstrates these fancy moves. You won’t believe me… but I’m a martial artist too… really.

In Taekwondo, Kendo, Judo, Hapkido, and Kung Fu, I have… one degree…
(1st Degree + 0 + 0 + 0 + 0 = 1)

The reason I’m rambling about this is because I wanted to prove to everyone that it’s not because I’m physically weak that she always beats the crap out of me. You don’t believe me?

… You’re right.

It was July, when the weather turned really nasty. For two months, she and I had covered basically all the places couples go to (bar… PC House… movies… video place… motel (?)… … … jail -_-). And we were getting tired of going to the same places over and over again.

So we both agreed to “play with some culture and sophistication.” and decided to play squash (you know, that sport that apparently only the ‘bourgeoisie’ enjoys).. I never played squash before, but I did have some experience with Tennis, so I was pretty confident.

She.. wanted to make a bet.

ME: What bet?
Her: Loser buys drink tonight.
Me: I don’t want to drink with you… ever…
Her: Then, the loser has to fulfill the winner’s one wish.
Me: Okay… Don’t regret it. It can be anything!

She’s overconfident with her natural athletic talent… She has no idea what’s coming… and the game begins!

Bam! Bam! Bam! (No, not the sound of me getting beaten up)

Game over… the result? Of course I won… I can win against her in something… finally!! You owe me a wish!

But the problem started from here. She must’ve been angry that she lost… she wanted to do Kendo… But Kendo is a pretty tough sport. It’s a murder on your shoulder and back…

When I was little, I always kicked ass in swordfighting with little sticks. Everyone who’s my age in my neighborhood has at least one scar on the head from me.. So… there was no way she knew how to do Kendo… and even if she did… how good can she be?

I was drunk with victory and… Yes… I was confident once more.

So we go to the Kendo gym… and… what? People in the gym started to say hello to her. “Hey, long time no see..” From here, I started to get nervous… and I was back to my old self again.

Me: It’s too hot to play Kendo… let’s just go swimming or something!
Her: -_-;
Me: I… I think I have a stomach cramp…
Her: \_/

I was covered with equipments that I didn’t even know the names of… Whatever.. the protective pads gotta be sturdy enough…

Everyone in the gym stopped what they were doing and began to watch…. but not the fight, but me… With a strange look on their faces -_____________ – (Kinda like this…)

We both have the bamboo swords… 3 meters apart… I begin to sweat, and there’s tension in the air… She approaches, and I stare right at her sword. It looked as if it was rising, then..

BAM!

She went straight for my head… Did I get hit? No way! I parried her attack.. It was awesome. But if I had gotten hit, it probably would’ve killed me. I called for timeout.

Wait!… Hey! When I watched it on TV, it went head, head, waist, leg… isn’t that what we’re supposed to do? I wish I hadn’t agreed to do this..

I feel sudden pain at my side, then a cramp in my head.. I could see the stars.. then I don’t remember what happened..

I could see the ceilings… I just pretended I was knocked out…

Any case, I’d won the squash game, so she still owes me a wish. What should I tell her?… How about if I tie her up on a tree and beat her (for once)?

After that day, I get nervous every time she holds even a wooden chopstick… who knows? She might complain that her food sucks and throws her chopstick like a knife to the cook or something.. A girl with Kendo degree… is scary as hell.