Chapter 7 (Birthday) – My Sassy Girl

Thursday, February 12, 2015 @ 11:36 am


On her ID, her birthday is April 16th. I don’t know why… but on the calendar, it’s in June… (Note: Most likely, this is caused by the discrepancy between lunar calendar and Gregorian calendar (which is widely used throughout the world))

Her birthday is very near… Birthday… If I try to pass the day by without doing anything… she.. might murder me. Oh, speaking of murder, she is a 76 Dragon (Note: Meaning that she was born in 1976 and her eastern zodiac is Dragon)… I’m 75 Rabbit… but my friends are 74 Panthers… you know why, right? Fast 75… (Note: Meaning that since he was born in the early months of 75, either in January or February, his friends didn’t try to establish an elder-young relationship)

My friends told me.. a Panther and a Dragon can’t have a good relationship because they’re both fierce. So I reminded them that I was a rabbit… then they said

“Idiot… no wonder you’re so… Think about it. A DRAGON and a rabbit? You know what’s gonna happen? You’re gonna be murdered.”

What a great bunch of friends… anyway, as her birthday approaches day by day, I get more and more nervous… what should I get her..

Money? She has too much. Anything she need? Doesn’t exist. Me? As I said before, I’m dirt poor.

Instead of something I can buy, I thought about doing something for her instead. Make this birthday even more unforgettable than any birthdays or anniversaries she had spent with her last, so that she can recover as fast as she can from him…

Don’t you think it’s a great idea??

I thought about a movie… as she opens the trunk of the car, doves… and balloons fly to the sky as a banner rises saying “Happy Birthday!”

Great idea! That would be really cool!

But… I don’t have a car… or a driver’s license…. Doves? How do you catch them?? and banners? ridiculously expensive.

There’s another idea! Even better one! A feasible one!

Before I went off for military service (note: mandatory in South Korea for about 2 years), I used to work at an amusement park. I was in charge of operating some rides, but mostly I was operating a SR2 Space Voyage. (Note: Similar to Back to the Future ride at Universal Studio park)

This one time I was working, Kim Hee Sun came to the park. (Picture reference: She rode the SR2 too… I took her ticket, secured her safety belt, and even got an autograph (awesome!).

So, this was it. I immediately called my friends who were still working there. Apparently, they still couldn’t find a better job…

In the middle of the night, she and I are the only ones at the amusement park… As I stretch my two arms to the sky, the carousel turns on with fireworks! Now that’s what I’d call a movie scene!

I tried to convince them… but they refused.. saying that they’ll get fired.. and there’ll be security in the place anyhow… but I couldn’t give up.

Me: What if I got the security guys something to drink and smoke?
Friends: I don’t know… would that work with just couple of bucks?
Me: Here’s 50,000 won ($50)… bribe them for me.

My friends look at me like I’m crazy and stands up…….

Me: Fine. 100,000 won ($100).. this is all I got..

They’re heading for the door

Me: Fine! Fine! Here’s 200,000 won ($200)

We figured out our strategy.
Friend 1 would turn on the main power and go straight to the pirate ship
Friend 2 would hide in the carousel control room
Friend 3 would track us in case she does something crazy, and turn on whatever the ride she wants.

I would go with her into the amusement park… take her near the carousel.. and tell her..

“This is my magic for you.”

I stretch my arms, then the carousel turns on with music, and we ride the carousel. Then we move on to the pirate ship. As we go on, one of the friends turn on the streetlight as we pass by them. Then we ride the pirate ship.. Just the two of us… the plan is foolproof! No one in real life could get a birthday present like this…

The day before her birthday…

we have to move in at late night, so I figured the front gate would be closed. I tried to find a side door, but there weren’t any… I decided we would climb the wall. She’s… probably an expert wall climber..

I practiced in front of the carousel, with both arms stretched out…

Passerbys are staring at me..

And I quickly pretend I was yawning.

I’m so proud of my brain cells… they’re learning quickly how to avoid other people staring at me while I’m with her..

The day has come. It’s her birthday… A bouquet? I don’t have one. I told my friends to buy one for me and put it on the carousel… I pretended that I didn’t have any gifts…

She’s yelling at me… I have to endure it.. the day is almost over, and I have to keep her with me till the late night. Of course, going for a drink would be the best solution, but… if she drinks a half a bottle… she would be quite unpredictable..

It’s 1 in the morning. I called my friends I was heading over there.. They tell me everything is ready.. I sure have a bunch of trustworthy friends

We took a taxi to the amusement park.. she asked me why we’re going there… I didn’t really answer…

We arrived at the wall of the park.

“We have to climb over”

Her: Are you crazy? Why are we here in the middle of the night? Climbing over the wall no less…

Me: I always wanted to come to the park in the middle of the night… please? Let’s be crazy and just do it. You’re good at that right?… being completely out of your mind…

She climbs over in seconds… and I took 10 minutes..

My heart was beating loudly. Finally, the best plan of my life is about to come to its full. She might just come for a bear hug when she’s so moved…

We headed over to the carousel… everything was going according to the plan… it was very dark, and we couldn’t see anything…

In front of the carousel, I turned around to face her and took her by her shoulders, and as practiced, whispered.

“This is my magic for you.”

I stretch my arms to the sky.

Silence is broken by sound of music singing happy birthday. Carousel is turned on.

She must have been taken by surprise. She’s about to cry. I took her hand and was about to ride the carousel… Then… out of nowhere… I hear whistles..

“Hey!! What’s going on!! Who are you??”

And now, we’re at the police station.

After getting yelled by securiy for hours, we were sent to the police..

Officer: What are you guys trying to do? Why would you go in there in the middle of the night? Huh?

Me: I’m so sorry, sir.. See, what happened was-

Officer: (He’s not even listening.. why ask me why we did it then?) Do you have any idea how much fines you are going to take?

So, she and I… along with my friends… spent the night in jail together… This is my second time in jail… (you remember the first time, right?)

In any case, I guess I did give her an unforgettable birthday gift. Can anyone say they spent their birthdays behind the bars?

My friends told me… they tried to bribe the security, but they refused… Since that job was the only way they can support their families, they can’t risk getting fired…

So my friends spent the money I gave them on their cell phone bills…..

Since they promised, they thought “whatever” and let this whole thing happen…

Next day, they all got fired.. (Ha!)

So what about the fines? The next day, her uncle… yes, the one that let me experience the fine institution of jail… came by and took care of it. You gotta appreciate the power of DAs…

But.. I became #1 on her uncle’s blacklist…

That’s right.. Drug dealers, murderers, robbers, rapists… I beat them all, and took the first place!!!…. -_-;;

I’m still marked by her uncle.. Her parents think of me as public enemy #1. I just wanted her to be happy.

She has almost moved on from him now… To tell you the truth, because of taking care of all the things both her and I did for past few months, I don’t think she had time to think about him at all…

Pretty soon, it’ll be the 100th day since she threw up on the bald guy in the subway… so it’ll be the 100th day since we’ve met…

Of course, there’s no way I’d remember something like that… She called me and reminded me. She’s really rough, but there are sides of her that are cute like that..

And once again… what would I do for her.. this 100th day?
If you have a good idea… please email me…
But I got the impression that it was her who was preparing something… What is she up to?..