Being sick these past few days has given me ample time to let my mind wander with little consequence. It’s amazing how a previously unconscious thought or idea can become forefront in our conscious mind when we do a bit of self-mind analysis. This blog post is about interests and parental figures, and how to connect the two to get a rough idea of your interest’s personal character.
Simply observe how the person interacts with their parental figures: if they still talk (like best friends or like enemies), if they live together, if they visit each other often, etc. Don’t intrude on your interest to find this out and don’t pry (e.g. “Hey, so tell me about your mom.“). It’s quite easy to observe without asking weird questions: just spend time with your interest and you’ll find out how close they are with their parental figures. If they don’t mention their parental figures at all, then that’s a possible red flag.
The main concept is this: a positive and healthy relationship between the parental figure(s) and your interest implies that the parental figure raised their child well. This would lead one to believe there is a high probability the interest will be a good parent in the future. If you’re thinking: “WHOA, I should think of my crush as a parent already?“, then disregard this post, but it is something that most of us will or should inevitably consider.
I don’t mind if I get referred to as a nerd/geek for this, but one must consider how well their interest aligns with their family, and how one aligns with their interest’s family. Sort of like strategic alignment for implementation projects in an organization: how well it aligns with the organization’s vision, mission statement, culture, and all that fun stuff.
I took a few key theories away from my psychology/sociology courses, one of them is socialization and how family is the primary socialization agent for individuals. An example of this are feral/isolated/captive children where some documented cases involve children who don’t understand basic linguistics and communication methods. Moving beyond the basics and moving higher up the hierarchy to more complex items such as virtues (formed on values), the importance of positive, constant relationships between parents and their child/children cannot be emphasized enough and will reflect in their child/children themselves.
There are exceptions to this. Sometimes a person has no parental figure to look up to, or for some reason has no contact with them. Sometimes as time passes by, you find out that their parental figure(s) are, in fact, despicable with warrant. And of course, an individual can make choices that lead them to be a better or worse person than their parental figures not just based on their interactions.
Perception is everything, so don’t believe just what you see, use your other four senses as well (where applicable of course, don’t go licking everything). Take this concept as your grain of salt, with a grain of salt as well.